I punched the seek button on my radio a few weeks ago and I came across this brand new station called JACK-FM. The name alone made me a little uneasy. I mean..."JACK-FM?" Think about that for just a second. The station's called "JACK-FM." Oh well. I guess if it floats their proverbial boat then it's okay in my book. The name doesn’t even bother me all that much to tell you the truth. In fact, it made creating a satirical image for this post so much easier. What does bother me is their bizarre playlist and pompous ads. "We play what we want." Gimmie a break.
Just about every radio station I’ve heard of tends to stick to a certain genre of music or a specific time period (like all oldies all the time, the 80s to today, etc.), and I think it’s safe to say that a lot of radio stations take requests. I mean, they want to please their listeners, right? They want people to tune in so that they don’t get canned. Well not this station, JACK! Get it? JACK? Oh, I crack myself up. You see, the thing about JACK-FM is that they don’t stick to a certain genre and they certainly don’t hold themselves down with something as silly as a decade or two. Instead, they jump all over the place and play "what they want." Well, let me tell you - this ain’t really working for me. I like the confidence I get in knowing that I can turn on the radio not have my ears molested by a mix of music ranging from the 1960s to today. Not that there's anything wrong with any of that music on its own merits. It's when you put it all together in a bizarre jumble of musical soup that I start getting a headache. I’m really not looking to jump from a funky 70s tune right into a modern piece of death metal. If I wanted that, I’d buy an ipod.
You know I really think JACK-FM is the perfect radio station for a select group of crazy people: hyperactive multitaskers. The kind of people who talk on the phone while watching a movie, surfing the net, paying the bills, and eating breakfast all at the same time. Thing is a person like that has the attention span of a caffeinated hummingbird and probably fails to notice the absurdity of the idea in the first place. I’m not really sure at this point if I’m more worried about this current trend in radio or just people in general.
JACK-FM: "Hey, want to make a request?"
LISTENER: "Well, I-"
JACK-FM: "NO! YOU CAN'T!"
LISTENER: "..."
JACK-FM, don’t you realize there are enough things to hate in this word already without your working so hard to give us another? I know you aren’t one to take requests but please make just this one exception and get off my radio.
