So, you're tired of your inbox being flooded with messages about high gas prices and illegal immigrants, huh? Spam messages about whether or not you should boycott oil companies, when to pump (or not pump) gas, whether or not the United States should provide amnesty to all those Mexicans or whether or not it’s a better idea to shoot them dead like those border vigilantes the “Minutemen...”
I don't know about you, but I've just become so jaded as to the various plans, solutions, and excuses being offered by both the Democrats and the Republicans. I don't care anymore what the Sierra Club or the ACLU has to say or what politician A is saying to politician B while politician C is having an affair with politician B’s wife. I'm tired of listening to everyone else spitball random suggestions into the air without the slightest bit of rational thought or imagination behind them. Therefore, I have decided to figure things out for myself. Brace yourself here, because I think I’ve got a true work of Capitalistic genius on my hands here. As of next month, I am going to begin hiring illegal immigrants to push my car. Yeah, you heard right. As I see it, they're quite plentiful these days and far cheaper than buying gas. Then, after they've put in a good day's work, I'll pay them in pesos so that they'll have to go home and spend their hard-earned, below-minimum-wage wages. Is my plan legal? Is it humane? Is it fair, smart, or even possible? I couldn't give you a straight answer, but if you're just as curious as I am, help me round up some of our Spanish-speaking friends from the southern border. A family of four should do just fine.
And if they decide to exchange their pesos for dollars and I become wise of their sabotage, I’ll join the “Minutemen.” But, you know…that’s plan B.
I don't know about you, but I've just become so jaded as to the various plans, solutions, and excuses being offered by both the Democrats and the Republicans. I don't care anymore what the Sierra Club or the ACLU has to say or what politician A is saying to politician B while politician C is having an affair with politician B’s wife. I'm tired of listening to everyone else spitball random suggestions into the air without the slightest bit of rational thought or imagination behind them. Therefore, I have decided to figure things out for myself. Brace yourself here, because I think I’ve got a true work of Capitalistic genius on my hands here. As of next month, I am going to begin hiring illegal immigrants to push my car. Yeah, you heard right. As I see it, they're quite plentiful these days and far cheaper than buying gas. Then, after they've put in a good day's work, I'll pay them in pesos so that they'll have to go home and spend their hard-earned, below-minimum-wage wages. Is my plan legal? Is it humane? Is it fair, smart, or even possible? I couldn't give you a straight answer, but if you're just as curious as I am, help me round up some of our Spanish-speaking friends from the southern border. A family of four should do just fine.
And if they decide to exchange their pesos for dollars and I become wise of their sabotage, I’ll join the “Minutemen.” But, you know…that’s plan B.
